Monday, October 6, 2014

Five Local Establishments That Should Exist

I admit it, I'm very lucky. While some women have to juggle working full time jobs and being full time moms, I have the luxury of being able to focus on the 3 m's:  my man, my mini me, and my manicure.  I do not take this good fortune for granted. I appreciate muchly my husband's commitment to bringing home the bacon so I can be committed to bringing up the baby who, in full disclosure, is almost 16.  That being said, I still find that 24 hours per day is seldom sufficient for efficient task completion. For that reason,  I humbly propose the merging of some local businesses and service providers  to maximize the use of my time.

1). Nail salon / Oil, Lube and Filter Change.    Imagine, if you will, a one stop shop for maintenance of both your car and your feet.   Instead of sitting on a sticky vinyl chair playing Candy Crush while your Toyota gets a tune up, you could be lounging in a massage chair making small talk with your neighbor.  No extra time required!  MOMMY BONUS:  one charge on the debit card means your man never knows you treated your tootsies!

2). Dance Studio / Internet cafe.  If I could have sipped on a chai latte, answered my email, updated my calendar and checked Edline while my budding ballerina plied and arabesqued, she'd still be in dance classes!  MOMMY BONUS:  you have a reason to ignore the catty dance moms!

3). Bank/ Post Office.   Face it.  If you can avoid parking and getting out of the car you jump on the chance.  So combining two tedious tasks into one drive through lane seems brilliant to me!  Just stick your power bill and your deposit in the little tube and watch it make its magic!  MOMMY BONUS:   if you also have to send a wedding gift to your cousin Myrtle in Omaha, you can get cash, a card, and a stamp right there without having to turn off Outlander on Audible!

4). Gym / Grocery store. Now this will still require you to do both things, but imagine the benefit of combining the inevitable into one frustrating but eventually successful search for a parking place!  Plus, if you shop right after thirty minutes on the elliptical while still in your sports bra you increase the likelihood of passing over the chips in favor of some sprouting Ezekiel bread.  (Results may vary). MOMMY BONUS:  you can look like shit because everyone will look like shit!  #win

5). Parent-Teacher Conferences / School Car Wash Fundraiser.  Take a deep breath, close your eyes and let the glorious possibility of killing both these birds with one stone roll over you like you just ate an entire cheesecake in Christian Gray's secret room. MOMMY BONUS:  all of it.

Time Management. Multi tasking.  Call it what you will, it's all part of the reality of the world we live in. And nobody is better suited and more skilled at it than we are, ladies!  We might as well embrace it!  Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to get my eyebrows waxed and my cholesterol checked at the spa/lab down the street!